Monday, January 08, 2007

Spiritual Sharing December 2006


Spiritual Sharing December 2006

Friday 20070105

* My dearest Lord, may my love get closer to Your love. Let me love the way You love. It is not human to love like You love. Just let Your love invade me so that I start to love the way You love.

* Let me love without expectations. My dearest Lord, the more I expect, the more I get frustrated. May I love without expectations, may my love be free and not expensive. It is said that cheap things are not valued because they are cheap. May my love be free but not cheap. Maybe Your love is not valued because it's free. Always giving a second chance, a third, a fourth ... Is it human to love without expectations?. Maybe it is not; maybe You are the only loving one without expectations. Let me be like You.

* Let me open my eyes, open my ears, open my mind. So that I start to see what my eyes never saw and my ears never heard and my mind never conceived. For that is what my dearest Lord reserved for those who want to love like Him. Refresh my memory: we have both seen and heard and conceived and loved like that before. Let me see all that silent love around me. All that free love offered without expectations to me. Maybe undervalued and unseen because it is free. The love that is always there, the love taken for granted, the love that always loves regardless what I do.

* Let me love without expectations, let my source of love be all that silent love taken for granted: Your own love. Let any act of love to me be unexpected: it will be a great gift. I'd rather have the gift of the unexpected (even if it is not so often) and avoid the frustration of the expected but not delivered.

* My dearest Lord, there are so many people unaware of Your love, so many indifferent. However, there are still so many other that like to love without expectations, just the way You love.

* My dearest Lord, don't allow me to think that people don't love me, because they don't "call me". I know this is all about loneliness. They most likely won't ever call, so please, be with me so that I don't feel lonely.

Sat 20061230

* My dearest Lord, don't allow me to think that people don't love me, because they don't "call me". I know this is all about loneliness. They most likely won't ever call, so please, be with me so that I don't feel lonely.

* These sufferings bring patience, as we know, and patience brings perseverance, and perseverance brings hope, and this hope is not deceptive, because the love of God has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.

Thu 20061221

* Isaiah 9,1-7: "The people that walked in the darkness has seen a great light; on those who live in a land of deep shadow a light has shone. You have made their gladness greater, you have made their joy increase; they rejoice in you presence as men rejoice at harvest time, as men are happy when they are dividing the spoils. For the yoke that was weighting on him, the bar across his shoulders, the rod of his oppressor, these you break as on the day of Midian. For al the footgear of battle, every cloak rolled in blood is burnt and consumed by fire.

For there is a child born for us,
a son given to us
and dominion is laid on his shoulders;
and this is the name they give him:
Wonder-Counselor, Mighty-God, Eternal-Father, Prince-of-Peace".

* My dearest Lord, thank You, for the yoke that is weighting on me is lighter. My prayer for Cxxx. May she have good Christmas time.

Mon 20061218

* Thank you for the Fulbright dinner with Jxxx. We had a good time, met new people, got some contacts. I had the Christmas dinner with CXXX (my gay group) at the same time. I could not go. I learnt about this Christmas dinner a little late, when I had already arranged the other one. I guess that I would have preferred to go to CXXX’s dinner. However I saw Jxxx enjoy and me too. It was finally worthwhile.

* About going to Exxx's house. I installed the Office package and got the ADSL working. Of how thankful Exxx was. Thank you, for I was not thinking of passing by but in the end it was certainly worth the effort.

* Inviting people to write Christmas greeting cards for a Mission in the Ivory Coast: Tiébissou. Arranging a table with these cards to invite people at he end of the Sunday masses. People come and write. Many elderly cannot write. They don't see, their writing is slow and difficult. We write for them, they tell us what to write. They sign at the end. Someone asked me whether doing this card campaign was worth the effort. I was writing to Jxxx Mxxx (one of the missionaries) that sending these cards reminded me about them (the people in the Mission). After writing this, I told this person that it was certainly worth the effort.

* Having a meal on Sunday afternoon with the former people of the parish. It was good to see them again after quite some time. Exxx was fine after his father's death.

* Still finding some time at the very end of Sunday night to explain that result I could not explain for many months. I was reading a book about integration in the complex domain. I could find the answer to my question. Thank you, for that encouraged me quite a lot.

Fri 20061215

* My prayer for Exxx and especially for his mother. I was yesterday in his father's funeral.

* About going to a dinner organized by the Fulbright Fundation with Jxxx. I want her to meet new people. People she may like. I'm missing the Christmas dinner with CXXX. I feel a little willing to receive proposals rather than to propose. I guess this is all about willing to be loved but not allowing it to happen. My dearest Lord, don't allow me to feed all this feelings up. I'd rather suppress them. They make me sad. My dearest Lord, fill my thoughts with Your presence so that I may not think about this but rather about You and everything that is involved with You.

* My dearest Lord, I'm tired. In the past six months I haven't stopped much. I don't think I'm very acknowledged for all the work I do. I'm loosing contact even with the people of the group for I don't stop a single minute. I have been too long as busy as this. I'm not quite sure of the prospects. The line of research I'm going through does not seem to land in my group. Some other people are supposed to do what I'm thinking. I don't complain too much, I work long hours; my work does not seem to progress as quickly as I would like. I guess there are plenty of shortcuts, doing a worse quality work. I'm tired, my dearest.

* What eyes never saw (or perhaps they did but have forgotten)
what ears never heard (or perhaps they did but have forgotten)
what mind could never conceive (or perhaps it did but so long ago ...)
what our dearest Lord has reserved for those who love Him.

Tue 20061212

* "Sing and shout for joy for great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel".

* Philipians 4, 4-7: "I want you to be happy, always happy in the Lord; I repeat, what I want is your happiness. Let your tolerance be evident to everyone; the Lord is very near. There is no need to worry; but if there is anything you need, pray for it, asking God for it with prayer and thanksgiving, and that peace of God, which is so much greater than we can understand, will guard your hearts and your thoughts, in Christ Jesus".

* The peace of my dearest Lord is so much greater than what I can understand. May that peace be with us. The peace of knowing that all the best we could do has been done.

Mon 20061211

* About those moments in which things aren't so clear.

Dios de consolación,
incluso si no sintiéramos nada
de tu presencia,
Tú estás ahí.
Tu presencia es invisible,
pero tu Espíritu Santo
está siempre en nosotros.

Hermano Roger de Taizé.

Consoling God,
even if we didn't feel anything
of your presence,
You are there.
Your presence is invisible,
but your Saint Spirit
is always with us.

Brother Roger of Taizé

What eyes never saw (or perhaps they did but have forgotten)
what ears never heard (or perhaps they did but have forgotten)
what mind could never conceive (or perhaps it did but so long ago ...)
what our dearest Lord has reserved for those who love Him.

Tue 20061128

* Jeremiah 33, 14-16:

"See, the days are coming (it is the Lord who speaks) when I am going to fulfill the promise I made to the House of Israel and the House of Judah:

In those days and at that time,

I will make a virtuous Branch grow for David,

who shall practice honesty and integrity in the land. In those days Judah shall be saved and Israel shall dwell in confidence. And this is the name the city will be called: The Lord-our-integrity".

* The great promise of our Lord is about practicing honesty and integrity. This is what saves, creates confidence and gives us peace. The name of the city of God (the Kingdom of God) is "The Lord-our-integrity". May we all live in The Lord-our-integrity.

Mon 20061127

* Psalm 24:

"To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul

Lord, make me know your ways.
Lord, teach me your paths.
Make me walk in your truth, and teach me:
for you are my God, my savior

The Lord is good and upright.
He shows the path to those who stray,
he guides the humble in the right path;
he teaches his way to the poor.

His ways are faithfulness and love
for those who keep his covenant and will.
The Lord's friendship is for those who revere him;
to them he reveals his covenant".

* My dearest Lord, may Your will be done, Your paths accomplished. For You are my dearest Lord and I trust You. I usually don't like your paths. I want other things at other times. However, the paths that make me happy are Yours. Thank you, for I don't have what I want, when I want it, in the way I want it. Thank you for I start to like what You give me, when You give it to me and in the way You give it to me. That's not what I want but what You want. Let me continue trusting Your criterion for that's what makes me happy. Not so much what I want, when I want it or how I want it.

* My dearest Lord, may You continue showing me Your paths. Let me look at them and listen to You. Make me small so I may listen and look.

Fri 20061124

* Yesterday we celebrated Thanksgiving. Thank you my dearest Lord, for there's always very good reasons to thank you. Thank you for joining us for the third year to give you thanks. Thank you once more for "my heart is not proud, nor haughty my eyes. For I didn't go after things too great nor marvels beyond me" (Psalm 131).

Wed 20061122

* My dearest Lord, I have been working very intensively for the past three months. There is a lot of tension at work. People not willing to work with each other.

* My prayer for Cxxx and Lxxx Fxxx.

Mon 20061120

* Yesterday I sent my translated notes about sexual orientation and spirituality to Sxxx. I think that sharing this experience with him was the main motivation for me to translate those notes.

* Thank you for this wonderful weekend.

"Jesús, nuestra paz,
por tu Evagelio
tú nos llamas a ser muy sencillos
y muy humildes.
Tú haces crecer en nosotros
un agradecimiento infinito
por tu continua presencia
en nuestros corazones"

Hermano Roger de Taizé

"Jesus, our peace,
for your Gospel
You call us to be very simple
and very humble.
You make grow within us
an infinite thanksgiving
for your constant presence
in our hearts"

Brother Roger from Taizé

* My dearest Lord, make me small, tiny and simple. Let myself not be haughty nor proud but humble and full of thanksgiving. Thank you, my dearest Lord, for being present.

Sun 20061119

* About yesterday meeting at CXXX. It was very good. I spent a very good time having dinner with Cxxx, Axxx, Jxxx and Mxxx. I had a great time also after dinner.

* On Saturday morning I spent the morning reading a page of a prelude of “The Well tempered Clavier” by Bach. I didn't play it properly but I enjoyed playing it so much. Thank you to my grandmother for she taught me how to play. I'm so grateful.

* I was working in the evening on a paper related with work. Thank you for I clear myself out of things I didn't understand before.

Thu 20061116

"Espíritu Santo,
concédenos poner paz allí donde hay antagonismos,
y hacer perceptible
por medio de nuestra vida,
un reflejo de la compasión de Dios.
Sí, concédenos amar
y manifestarlo con nuestra vida".

Hermano Roger de Taizé

"Saint Spirit,
give us the ability to spread peace where there are discords,
and make visible
through our life
God's compassion.
Yes, gives us the ability to love
and express it with our life".

Brother Roger of Taizé

Wed 20061115

* Psalm 15.

"Preserve me, God, I take refuge in you.

O Lord, it is you who are my portion and cup;
it is you yourself who are my prize.
I keep the Lord ever in my sight:
since he is at my right hand, I shall stand firm.

And so my heart rejoices, my soul is glad;
even my body shall rest in safety.
For you will not leave my soul among the dead,
nor let your beloved know decay.

You will show me the path of life,
the fullness o joy in your presence,
at your right hand happiness for ever".

* My dearest Lord, "it is You who are my portion and cup; it is You Yourself who are my prize". I don't need great expectations or promises. I just want the presence of my dearest Lord. Surely, all those expectations and promises are true. However,

it seems to me that the presence of my dearest Lord is enough for me. That's all I need. May this dearest Lord of mine be willing to let me know who He is. I'm willing to know. He is so much willing to let Himself known to me.

Tue 20061114

* About the talk by Jaime that I was reading a few days ago about the Holy Spirit.

"Cuando descubres a gente que se calla pudiendo defenderse, al ser tratada injustamente con mentiras, y calla sin disfrutar de su silencio. Cuando descubres a alguien que se priva de algo sin esperar agradecimiento, sin ser reconocido por los demás; incluso cuando por dentro, el hacer eso tampoco te deja la sensación de estar liberado".

"When one discovers people that is quiet when they could be defensive when being treated unfairly through lies, and they are quiet without enjoying their silence. When one discovers somebody who voluntarily decides not to have what he wants without expecting anything from the others, not even their acknowledgement; even when internally, they don't have the sensation of feeling released".

Mon 20061106

* My prayer for Luis Fernando. May Your presence be upon him so that he does not feel hopeless. Let us bring up our presence close to him so that he does not feel alone.

* Thank you for the aperitif at Cxxx's and for the conversation with my parents about a proposal to bring out to the gay debate into my jesuit community. I called one of the jesuit priests yesterday night to do my proposal. There might not be many gay people in this community. However, I ask myself whether these gay people are not there because they felt that this jesuit community was not their place any more. Especially when they were young. When people leave a community, they start to live their faith on their own. That is very hard and difficult. They don't have much support in parishes.

Sun 20061105

* Psalm 17:

"Yo te amo, Señor; tú eres mi fortaleza;
Señor, mi roca, mi alcázar, mi libertador.

Dios mío, peña mía, refugio mío, escudo mío
mi fuerza salvadora, mi baluarte.
Invoco al Señor de mi alavanza
y quedo libre de mis enemigos.

Viva el Señor, bendita sea mi Roca
sea ensalzado mi Dios y Salvador.
Tú diste gran victoria a tu rey,
tuviste misericordia de tu Ungido".

"I love you, Lord my strength,
my rock, my fortress, my savior.

My God is the rock where I take refuge;
my shield, my mighty help, my stronghold.
The Lord is worthy of all praise:
when I call I am saved from my foes.

Long life to the Lord, my rock!
Praised be the God who saves me.
He has given great victories to his king
and shown his love for his anointed".

* My prayer for Luis Fernando. Thank you so much for yesterday meeting at CXXX. It was simple, but I enjoyed it so much. I am realizing of how powerful it was the more I think about it. Your presence was there in such a simple way. Thank you especially for the sharing of Lxxx Fxxx. he is feeling hopeless. It was very sincere and simple. Of how Axxx, at the very end of the meeting, mentioned him, giving support. About those simple prophetic signs (this simple word of support) which tell us who You are and how You work through us. There were quite a few of those prophetic signs as long as we were talking about them.

Fri 20061103

* Last Friday a colleague of work approached me 20 minutes before getting back home. I thought that he was going to ask me about the work he was developing at that moment. I approached him but he asked me to go to a more private area nearby. Then, I thought that he wanted to speak about his situation at work, problems, difficulties and so on. He said to me: 'I'm going to marry. You are the first to know it'. I thanked him and congratulated for so wonderful news. He asked me if I knew anyone giving a good pre-marriage course. He told me that his girlfriend did not go through the process of religion and she didn't know much even culturally about Catholicism. He asked me then whether I knew any initiation course. I told him that these things are more about an encountering experience than just acquiring some knowledge. Then I recommended him a couple of parishes where they could go to adult meeting groups.

* I pray for them, so that they may encounter you. I give thanks for they are searching. I give thanks for there's still people searching You.

* Deuteronomy 6,2-6: "Listen, Israel: The Lord our God is the one Lord. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength. Let these words I urge on you today be written on your heart". My dearest Lord, may these words be written on my heart.

Mon 20061023

* Getting back from vacations. Praying for Cxxx (I haven't thought of her in this week and a half).

* Let me not be too harsh with Lxxx Mxxx. I guess it is mainly about not knowing him properly.

* Thank you for meeting Tony again. I enjoyed meeting his mum and one of these brothers. Thank you very much the time spent with Jxxx Rxxx, Jxxx, Jxxx Vxxx and Nxxx.

* Thank you for that service in Saint Paul's cathedral in London. Something very simple but got deep into my heart. Thank you very much for the Anglican mass I went yesterday. For that rite of healing through laying on the hands. For the communion invitation.

* Thank you for the nice weather, the green fields, finishing my coming out notes in English.

* Thank you, for my relation with You is still very much worth, rewarding and fulfilling than my weaknesses.

Sun 20061022

* I went to mass at Saint Martin in the fields (London). This is an Anglican church. However, I decided to join. There was a laying of the hands rite of healing. Before receiving the healing, I told the minister that I was a catholic visitor. He encouraged me even more to continue.

* Before communion, they read the following invitation:

Invitation to Communion

Come to this table you who have much faith
and you who would like to have more;
you who have been to this sacrament often,
and you who have not been for a long time;
you who have tried to follow Jesus,
and you who have failed.
Come.
It is Christ who invites you to meet him here.

After this invitation I could not but join in for communion.

Fri 20061013

* Enjoying vacations in London after a congress. It's good to slow down after so much rushing. Walking by under the scarce London sunshine. Enjoying very much the presence of these friends from Valencia and Nxxx. Contacting with Lxxx and Áxxx. They are expecting twins. Good news from good people. The congress went very well. Receiving news from Dxxx, who congratulated me for publishing a paper. At the same time, she is in my close list of people I want to write.

* About Axxx, publishing another paper as well. Willing to see him again. It's been almost two years. I definitely want to get back to New York next year.

* Axxx answered my message. He is doing well.

* Let me be humble, little and tiny. This is how You wanted us to be.

Tue 20061010

* Psalm 89,12-17:

"Fill us with your love that we may rejoice. Make us know the shortness of our life
that we may gain wisdom of heart"

* My dearest Lord, make me know the shortness of my life that I may gain the wisdom of Your heart. For there's compared to Your wisdom, I want to hold riches as nothing and consider all gold as a pinch of sand.

Mon 20061009

* Thank you for this wonderful opera Exxx brought me last Thursday. The dinner on Friday night was also good. My prayer for Sxxx. Hoping she gets what she needs.

* I enjoyed working with my father and brother setting up in Humanes all the furniture which was left over after my brother renewed his kitchen. We worked together very well. It was fun to see all the gadgets my brother had (we worked very well thanks to that).

* About the little concert with Bach cantatas. I send the message of the two choirs of the last cantata to Axxx, Always about accepting suffering as a means for encountering God (at least not avoiding suffering systematically as difficult situations reveal us who our dearest Lord is like).

* Wisdom 7,7-11: "I prayed, and understanding was given to me; I entreated, and the spirit of Wisdom came to me. I esteemed her more than sceptres nd thrones; compared with her, I held riches as nothing. I reckoned n priceless stone to be her peer, for compared with her, all gold is a pinch of sand, and beside her, silver ranks as mud. I loved her more than health or beauty preferred her to the light, since her radiance never sleeps. In her company all good things came to me, at her hands riches not to be numbered".

Wed 20061004

* Romans 8, 26-27

"The Spirit comes to help us in our weakness. For when we cannot choose words in order to pray properly, the Spirit himself expresses our plea in a way that could never be put into words, and God who knows everything in our hearts knows perfectly well what the Spirit means, and that the pleas of the saints expressed by the Spirit are according to the mind of God".

* My prayer for Jxxx. May the Spirit come to help us in our weakness, when we cannot choose words to pray properly for Your Spirit himself expresses our plea without words and You know what we mean.

Tue 20061003

* Thank you for reencountering Jxxx Rxxx and his brother Jxxx. Thank you for that simple but wonderful dinner also with Exxx.

* About going to Xavier on Saturday morning with my mother and Mxxx. A long way but it was worth the travel. We had a great time. About the mass at Xavier church. Enjoying to take communion the very last one. When I knelt at consecration the whole row did at the same time. As if there was some sort of communion, a common feeling, a shared experience, synchronous hearts.

* Of how this man, married and with several children, approached me caressing with a gentle touch. I did not feel harassed but I am worried for him. My dearest Lord, let me know what to do about this.

* Thank you for the 4th symphony by Bruckner and the presence of Exxx with me. I enjoyed very much being wrapped into this wonderful music.

* I need to leave my computer alone. I'd rather play the piano. I need to sleep.

* Remembering the story of Frodo and Sam (from the Lord of the Rings). My heart got very moved with of how this two fiction characters remind me so much of how my dearest Lord is.

* About the messages of this girl who came to Xavier with my mother and me. She was thanking the welcome and praying for me. I feel that many people pray for me. Your presence fills my like and is stronger than anything else.

Tue 20060926

* I enjoyed very much the presence of Axxx yesterday at dinner. Of how the presence of my Lord came to me yesterday morning with this wonderful "Coloquy of love":

Coloquio de amor

"Si el amor que me tenéis, | Dios mío, es como el que os tengo; | decidme, ¿en qué me detengo? | O Vos, ¿en qué os detenéis?

Alma, ¿qué quieres de mí? | Dios mío, no más que verte. | Y ¿qué temes más de ti? | lo que más temo es perderte.

Un amor que ocupe os pido, | Dios mío, mi alma os tenga, | para hacer un dulce nido | donde más la convenga.

Un alma en Dios escondida, | ¿qué tiene que desear? | sino amar y más amar, | y en amor toda encendida | tornarte de nuevo a amar?."

* Axxx broke his arm some weeks ago and now he is recovering the mobility of his arm (only 15 days unable to move his arm). It is a tedious and painful process. About the image of my dearest Lord approaching Axxx from behind. He cannot see him. You were taking his arm with lots of care. You were moving it backwards and forwards very gently. When reaching the end, you were stretching a little more. Axxx started to feel the pain. He pressed his teeth tight. My dearest Lord did the same from behind. He was feeling the pain of Axxx when he saw him with this teeth pressed. My dearest Lord stretched very gently a little more, felt a little more pain. Then he released the arm and stated to move it in the opposite direction. One movement after the other, Axxx was feeling the pain at the end of each movement. The movement was slow to allow for a little of rest in between each end. Time after time the arm could move more and more and the pain was no longer such pain. The love of my dearest Lord manifests in this way.

* I imagined myself doing the same thing with Axxx. Contemplating the subtle and gentle way of moving his arm. Feeling his own pain when reaching the end of each movement.

Thu 20060921

* St James 3,16- 4,3: "Whenever you find jealousy ad ambition, you find disharmony, and wicked things of every kind being done; whereas the wisdom that comes down from above is essentially something pure; it also makes for peace, and is kindly and considerate; it is full of compassion and shows itself by doing good.

Where do these wars and battles between yourselves first start?. Isn't it precisely in the desires fighting inside your own selves?. You want something and you haven't got it; so you are prepared to kill. You have an ambition that you cannot satisfy; so you fight to get your way by force. Why you don't have what you want is because you don't pray for it; when you do pray and don't get it, it is because you have not prayed properly, you have prayed for something to indulge your own desires.

Wed 20060920

* Wisdom 2,12; 17-20: "The godless say to themselves, 'Let us lie in wait for the virtuous man, since he annoys us and opposes our way of life, reproaches us for our breaches of the law and accuses us of playing false to our upbringing. Let us see if what he says is true, let us observe what kind of end he himself will have. If the virtuous man is God's son, God will take his part and rescue him from the clutches of his enemies. Let us test him with cruelty and with torture, and thus explore this gentleness of his and put his endurance to the proof. Let us condemn him to a shameful death since he will be looked after (we have his word for it)".

* My dearest Lord, am I put to the test?, do they oppress me waiting for You to help me?. I don't think they even wait for that. May the peace be present in this world of ours. May I contribute to it.

Mon 20060918

* Thank you my dearest Lord because You are great with us. For You take care of us. Thank you for Sxxx' job. Thank you, for the subtle way You told me that You are with us. With that Psalm that brought me so intensively Your presence and the presence of Sxxx. For You heard our voice. Thank you, my dearest Lord, thank you very much, thank you so much.

Wed 20060913

* Psalm 114, 1-6, 8-9:

"I will walk in the presence of the Lord in the land of the living.

I love the Lord for he has heard
the cry of my appeal;
for he turned his ear to me
in the day when I called him.

They surrounded me, the snares of death,
with the anguish of the tomb;
they caught me, sorrow and distress.
I called on the Lord's name.
O Lord my God, deliver me!.

How gracious is the Lord, and just,
our God has compassion.
The Lord protects the simple hearts;
I was helpless so he saved me.

He has kept my soul from death,
my eyes from tears
and my feet from stumbling.
I will walk in the presence of the Lord
in the land of the living".

* I pray so that Sxxx may tell You, my dearest Lord: "I love the Lord for he has heard the cry of my appeal; for he turned his ear to me in the day when I called him".

Tue 20060912

* About the conversation I had with Axxx yesterday. He did not seem very enthusiastic. Recovering his broken arm, that was not as easy as he initially thought. His traveling plans in the near future don't seem to fit with his arm limitations. Maybe Jxxx was right. I found him a little sad. My little prayer for him, for his brother (who was operated from a brain tumor). Hoping he can recover soon and be happy.

* About the little meeting with Exxx, Oxxx and Cxxx. It was nice to see them after the summer.

Mon 20060911

* About being busy this weekend. Thank you for the birthday party of Jxxx and Sxxx. I had a great time.

* I enjoyed very much being on Saturday at Nacho and Esther' house with some other old class mates at university. I enjoyed it very much. For the wonderful welcome, the meal that Nxxx and Exxx prepared for us.

* About helping out moving furniture at my brother's house. He has so much stuff. About how pretty and wonderful was the little Mxxx (their daughter).

* About the little conversation with Sxxx at her birthday party. Talking about long term work, struggling with uncertainty. After almost six months working hard at work, last week the light came up and we understood everything (all results came by in a week after several months). Talking about that with Sxxx. Of how she has been struggling for a year to find a reasonable job. My prayer for her, so that she may find what she is looking for. Always with hope (though it is not easy for her or for anyone to keep hope after so much time struggling).

Mon 20060908

* "Dans nos obscurités, allume la flame qui ne s'eteint jamais, qui ne s'eteint jamais. Dans nos obscurités, allume la flame qui ne s'eteint jamais." (un chant de Taizé).

* In our obscurities, fire on the flame that never stinguishes, that never stinguishes. In our obscurities, fire on the flame that never stinguishes" (from a Taizé song).

* Psam 145, 7-10:

"My soul, give praise to the Lord.

It is the Lord who keeps faith for ever,
who is just to those who are oppressed.
IT is he who gives bread to the hungry,
the Lord, who sets prisoners free.

It is the Lord who gives sight to the blind,
who raises up those who are bowed down,
the Lord who loves the just,
the Lord who protects the stranger.

The Lord upholds the widow and orphan,
but thwarts the path of the wicked.
The Lord will reign for ever,
Zion's God, from age to age, Alleluia!".

* Thank you, my dearest Lord, for You are always there, You take care of me. I have been struggling for almost six months with the provisions at work. Finally, today it is the official presentation. All the important conclusions came up this past week. The result of six months. I don't know well how all this got figured out. Thank You my Lord for being there. I'm sure You are always there.

Wed 20060906

* Psalm 145, 7-10: "It is the Lord who gives bread to the hungry, the Lord, who sets prisoners free. It is the Lord who gives sight to the blind, who raises up those who are bowed down, the Lord who loves the just, the Lord, who protects the stranger".

* My prayer for Sxxx. May she find what she needs most. My prayer for Jxxx Lxxx's father and for the rest of the family.

* This Friday is the funeral of Jxxx, the son of Vxxx. He died a year ago, doing scuba diving. He was very young. Everyone got really affected by this. My prayer for Vxxx (his mother) and Exxx (his brother). Also for the rest of the family.

Tue 20060905

* 1 John 2,1-5: "Listen, my dear brothers: it was those who are poor according to the world that God chose, to be rich in faith and to be heirs to the kingdom of which he promised to those who love him".

Thu 20060901

* Working too hard for the past week. Not having enough time for anything. Hoping that I can reach a softer steady state.

* My prayer for Cxxx and for Sxxx.

* Feeling a little discouraged at work for the atmosphere. I'm working too hard, whereas the rest of people seem to be very relaxed. Not feeling very close to the conversations around me. Receiving the impression that the model of life is to work as little as possible. I cannot see much motivation. It may be simply the result of my pressed personal situation.

Mon 20060828

* About this past weekend that I spent with my family in my grandmothers' village in Guadalajara.

* Ixxx came by on Sunday slightly complaining because we didn't go and visit her. She brought me a cake she had just baked. It was excellent. Ixxx is building a house in the village for his daughter and son. They did never get on very well with the family (not too well even between them). I guess that Ixxx wants to build this house to have something to offer to her son and daughter after working very hard for her whole life and draw them close to her in the coming years. I understand the little complain of Ixxx, she is lonely perhaps and needs someone who may think of her. She has been taking care of old people for many years. Now she is getting older. Let me think of her and visit her. Just a small visit may be enough. A little letter. A tiny word. Let me think of her. Let me have her present. I pray today for Inés, so that she never feels lonely.

* About getting back to Madrid with Sxxx and Mxxx. I enjoyed the trip. We don't see each other very often but we updated each other quite well. Thank you for their availability to bring me.