Spiritual Sharing August 2004

Thu 8/5/04. 1 Co 15,7-10.

* Praying for Axxxs' father and Cxxx.

* Paul speaks: "For I am the last of the apostles". The grace of the Lord to me had a great fruit. But it was not I, but the grace of God in me.

Wed 8/4/04. Rm 8,18-27

* All creation is eagerly expecting the birth in glory of the children of God. As pregnant mother, we suffer the birth but when the baby is born, we forget about the suffering.

* We are weak, but the Spirit comes to help us. How to ask?. And what shall we ask for?. We don't know, but the spirit intercedes for us without words, as if with groans.

* Thank you for Dxxx's letter.

* Praying for Axxxs' father and Cxxx.

Tue 8/3/04. Lc 24,50-53.

* Jesus extends his hands and blesses his disciples before ascending. The disciples return to Jerusalem full of joy.

* Prayer for Axxxs' father.

* My Lord, you continue leading. Let me continue trying to follow.

Mon 8/2/04.

* I feel compassion for Mxxx. He left the mass yesterday without saying anything. I was blessed and sent forth by Nxxx & Dxxx. I don't know how he feels. Maybe he just had something else to do just after mass. I pray once more so that you, my Lord, be with him.

* Thank you, my Lord, because you moved my heart on Sunday, full of compassion for Jxxx Mxxx. I felt a little discouraged when Pxxx told me about Pxxx Txxx. Give me your love and grace. That's all I need.

* Thank you for the people of "Descubriendo el Siglo 21". Thank you very much.

* Email to Mxxx, sending him forth as I was sent.

1st week: atfer EE.

Fri 7/30/04.

* The spirit intercedes for us without words, as if with groans.

Thu 7/29/04. Contemplation to attain love.

* "It is not for you to know the time and the steps which the Father has fixed by his own authority". Give me your love and grace. That's all I need.

* Your ways are higher than mine. Maybe I will never see them. Just give me your love and grace. That's all I need.

Wed 7/28/04. Acts 1,1-12. Jesus ascends to His Father.

* "It is not for you to know the time and the steps which the Father has fixed by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you".

* My Lord, it was not meant for me to understand and penetrate your ways. Because they are not like my ways, they go so much higher and beyond. Tell me your ways, my dear Lord.

* Take, my Lord, and receive my understanding. That I don't need too much to understand, rather than to trust, trying to follow you. Give me your love and grace. That's all I need.

* My Lord, you lead, I'm just trying to follow.

Tue 7/27/04. Acts 1,1-12. The Holy Spirit seizes the disciples.

* They all understood the marvels of God in their own language. Holy Spirit, teach me the universal language of love.

* About the times in which the Holy Spirit has seized me: Patro's letter, Miguel Adroher email, mass when I told Martin I loved him, the email that healed me the day after talking to him, reconciliation with Belén and José Luis, the prayer of generosity (I decided to withdraw from Martin's life), my Principle and Foundation, email sent to Irma, the well-trained tongue, the Stone that the builders rejected, how shall I make a return to the Lord, Easter messages, the Divine Providence, Carmen Durántez, Filip's father funeral, so many masses ...

Mon 7/26/04. Jesus appears to his disciples. John recognizes Jesus.

* Prayer for Cxxx.

* Now that you have conquered me, I want to continue being conquered.

* Thank you, my Lord, for those times in which I spend the whole night without catching anything. They have allowed me to recognize you.

33rd week: EE 4th week 5.

Sat 7/24/04. Jn 20,24-28.

* Resist no longer and be a believer.

Fri 7/23/04.

* Contemplation of the authority of Jesus. It's not about fear. It's about love. How can I not respond?.

* Prayer for Cxxx. Contemplation of her liver. Imposing my hands on her liver.

* Go and make disciples from all nations and tell them that I love them. Teach them how we can love each other.

Thu 7/22/04. Mt 28,16-20. Jesus sends the apostles.

* Praying for Cxxx Dxxx. Thank you, my Lord, for the gift of health and life.

Wed 7/21/04. Contemplation to attain love.

* All is yours, my Lord, give me your love and grace, I need no more. Email to Ixxx.

Tue 7/20/04. Jn 21,1-17. John recognizes Jesus.

* "I'm going fishing", "We will come with you". "But they caught nothing that night. When they did what Jesus said, they found.

* Then, the disciple Jesus loved said to Peter: "It's the Lord".

* They caught nothing the previous night because otherwise they would not have recognized Him. My Lord, your ways are higher than my ways. Show me your ways.

* Thinking about the humbleness after spending the whole night and catching nothing, to throw the nets where an unknown with no clue about fishing, is saying. That allowed recognizing Jesus. Maybe Martin was lacking that little bit of humbleness.

Mon 7/19/04

* Your ways are higher than mine. Show me little by little how everything will make sense for you. Show me your plans.

* All is yours. All the very best of me, of what I am, of what I have is yours.

32nd week: EE 4th week 3 & 4.

Sat 7/17/04.

* You lead, my Lord. I am just trying to follow. Please, continue leading, and I will try to continue following.

Fri 7/16/04. Road to Emmaus (Lc 24,13-35).

* Thank you for being so patient. To tell your story once more.

* John recognized the Lord and believed. The disciples of Emmaus needed some time. Contemplation again of John.

* "Were not our hearts filled with ardent yearning when he was talking to us?".

* "How shall I make a return to the Lord, for all the good he has done for me" (Psalm 35).

Thu 7/15/04. Repetition

* My Lord, you are leading, I just follow (email sent to George).

* I ask my Lord for deep internal knowledge of so much good and gift received, so that I may love and serve in everything to her Divine Majesty.

* Thinking about being a priest: my first step is to come out in the Group. That's what consistently has moved my heart. Not being a priest.

Wed 7/14/04. Repetition

* Love works itself out in mutual sharing, so that the lover always gives to and receives from the beloved everything.

* Thank you, my Lord. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you so much. For bringing me to New York, for taking me out of the closet. For telling me who you are. For my family, for my friends. For asking me to say that I love. For being with me so concerned for my own passion. For showing me what is to rise.

Tue 7/13/04. Contemplation to attain love.

* Love is more about acting (works of love) than talking (words of love). Peter's denial. Fxxx bringing his family to fireworks. Going to the funeral of Fxxx's father.

* Love is about leading with cords of human kindness, with leading strings of love.

Mon 7/12/04. Jn 20,19-23. Jesus appears to his disciples.

* Contemplation of how Jesus appears to Cxxx Dxxx, full of fear at her operation. "Peace be with you, Cxxx".

* "The disciples kept looking at the Lord and they were full of joy".

* May the joy of contemplating You risen invade Cxxx's heart. That won't release her from cancer but she would be full of joy.

* Thank you so much, my Lord, for the gift of health.

31st week: EE 4th week 2.

Sun 7/10/04. Mass

* The good Samaritan "was moved with compassion".

Fri 7/9/04. Repetition

* Contemplation of Mary with Jesus. "Woman, why are you weeping?. Because they have taken my Lord and I don't know where they have put it.". Jesus says "Mary", and she recognizes him.

Thu 7/8/04. Jn 20,1-18. He is risen.

* John waited for Peter to enter the tomb. Peter entered and saw everything. John went in afterwards. "he saw and believed".

* Thank you, my Lord, so much because when you brought me to the passion, you did not leave me alone but you are rising me as you did with Jesus.

* Thank you for this day with Stephen. For being able to get a little in each other's life. For being in the farm. For the people I met there. For the fields, for the green, for the lake. Thank you very much.

Wed 7/7/04.

* Jesus hugs his mother tenderly.

* The divinity of Jesus manifests with the small details. Tenderness and love. Contemplation of Pxxx's family.

* My experience of the passion has been so much about the Lord and so little about me.

Tue 7/6/04. Jesus appears to his mother

* The way in which Jesus manifests His divinity: with the most subtle loving details. With the simple things that surprise us. What we usually cannot think of.

* Philip's family: they loved the fireworks. Pxxx's comment in the funeral. Those are the details which show the divinity of the Lord.

Mon 7/5/04.

* Contemplation of my Lord's concern for my own passion. I haven't done anything wrong. My Lord thanks me for having followed Him: "Thank you, Alberto. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you so much, because you chose this very way of giving you, to show me how you love".

* My ways are not your ways. Yours are much higher and beyond my understanding. Let me know your ways. Let me know your paths. Don't let me think that my ways are the only ones.

* I was weeping on Sunday at the Welcome Table: "My Lord has given me a well trained tongue, that I might know how to speak to the weary a word that will rouse them".

* Dear Philip, what you organized for your family on Sunday was wonderful. I am very glad of having been a little part of it.

30th week: EE 4th week 1.

Sun 7/3/04

* "As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you".

* "Let the peace of Christ control your hearts; let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.

* You are right, Nxxx, my heart has not healed yet. I was not feeling very well at the mass (my heart was weeping). I started the Welcome Table the same way.

* Thank you for the company of Pxxx's family and the fireworks.

Contemplation of my Lord's concern for my own passion.

Fri 7/2/04. Repetition

* Contemplation of John. Silent and quiet, beside the cross, with Mary. With his head leaning on Jesus' chest. He recognized the Lord: "He is the Lord" in such a simple way.

* Silent and quiet. In a little corner I found myself in the funeral of Pxxx's father. Also, in Bxxxs' farewell party.

* Enjoying quietness and silence. Enjoying the contemplation of John, silent and quiet, beside the cross, with Mary, with his Lord.

Thu 7/1/04. EE 3rd week 6. The longest Sabbath.

* Contemplation of John. He did not loose his energy with great words. He was quiet but he was simply there when he had to. He could not leave Mary alone. She was there too.

* Contemplation of Peter.

Wed 6/30/04. Jn 19,31-42

* One of the soldiers pierced his side with a lance. They have pierced my Lord.

* Lord Jesus Christ, did I know, how I would break my heart with grief for you.

* Thank you, my Lord. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you so much, because you chose this very way of giving you (death on a cross) to teach me how to love.

* Colloquy with Mxxx & Rxxx. I wish them the best of luck. I thank Mxxx because I want to think that he did me a great favour refusing. I thank my Lord again because He wanted to teach me that His ways are higher than mine and so much better. Thanks my Lord for being so delicate.

Tue 6/29/04. Jn 19, 25-30

* The only thing left you have, your mother, you give her to me.

* Everything is accomplished.

Mon 6/28/04.

* Lord Jesus Christ, did I know, how I would break my heart with grief for you.

* "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do."

* With these last lines, my healing process concludes and I can see you again as a friend. This is the work of the Lord. It is so wonderful in our eyes. Thank you, my Lord. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you so much, because you chose this very way of giving you (death on a cross) to teach me how to love.

30th week: EE 3rd week 5.

Sun 6/27/04. Mass

* "Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head".

Sat 6/26/09.

* Funeral of Fxxx's father.

Fri 6/25/04. Psalm 22. Why have you forsaken me?.

* Thy will, my Lord, be done. Que ta volunté soit fait, mon très cher Seigneur.

* I have been yours from birth; from my mother's womb you have been my God.

* My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?. Why are you so far from me, from the sound of my groaning?.

* Getting back to Manhattan, after receiving Martin's email to meet the following day, I started to feel how my heart was breaking.

* I feel lonely. My Lord, don't allow me to think that people don't love me, because they don't "call me". I know this is all about loneliness. They most likely won't call, so please, be with me so that I don't feel lonely.

Thu 6/24/04.

* I pray for Pxxx & Exxx and their families. May my Lord be present in their midst.

* Thank you, my Lord, so much for not coming down from the cross. For choosing this very way to teach me how to love.

* Thank you my family, thank you Jxxx Mxxx and Axxx for praying for me. I have seldom felt myself so much full of the Holy Spirit.

Wed 6/23/04. Mt 27,39-48.

* Lord Jesus Christ, did I know, how I would break my heart with grief for you.

* My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?.

Tue 6/22/04.

* Thinking about Martin's answer: I will be fine with 'yes' and with 'no'. I feel myself once more in my Lord's hands. I am just trying to follow. I will be happy staying in New York with Mxxx and I will be happy to get back to Spain on my own and join my family. My final decision is not in my hands (it's in Mxxx's and in my Lord's). Jxxx's comment about this last sentence as being unfair to Mxxx.

* I have allowed myself to be undervalued, sometimes despised, in my job. I thought that perhaps that was good and my Lord wanted me to be humble. I thank my Lord, because I can now enjoy the fact that humbleness is what is valued in my job.

Mon 6/21/04.

* Thank you, my Lord, thank you. Thank you very much, thank you so much.

29th week: EE 3rd week 4.

Sun 6/20/04.

* 11:30 mass. Thank you, my Lord, so much, because you always let me know your will, because you always surprise me, because you always take care of me, because I know so clearly that it is You.

* You told me in this mass that I should not leave the US without offering Mxxx and I a chance to be together.

* I told Mxxx that I loved him, that I would stay in New York at least a year and a half more if he was willing to start a relationship. I told him that I woud miss all my opportunities in Spain for him and I would assume the risk if eventually it does not work.

Psalm 22

Fri 6/18/04. Is 42,1-8

* He was despised, rejected. He was despised and rejected of men. A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.

* He does not shout or raise his voice.

Thu 6/17/04.

* Why do I leave?. I feel that somehow I don't belong to this country. When the Fxxxs came, I saw how it is like being home again. I have felt sometimes not understood. My criteria are not usually theirs. What I enjoy most and moves me most is not even caught. I have hanged out with older people.

Wed 6/16/04. Psalm 25.

* Eternal light (I sent to Mxxx).

* Coming out in the group. Teach me your ways; make known to me your paths.

* In you my God I trust; let me not be put to shame, let not my enemies exult over me.

* Wednesday night group. People didn't know very well what to answer.

The youngest (Rxxx) was the one who best understood and felt identified with the topic.