Spiritual Sharing May 2009

Mon 20090504
* The heart is our internal compass. The heart tells us where is the north of our life. Where to go, what to do. Sometimes, I don't know where to go or what to do. Those are the moments where I need to hear my heart, to be attentive to my internal needs. Help me identify them.
* Thank you my dearest Lord for You have a plan for me to make me the happiest. I imagine You thinking: "I wish you could imagine what I have prepared you!". My dearest Lord, You have proved me that in my previous history You had those dreams. Let me dream Your dreams. Let my internal compass discover Your dreams.
* ¿What are my dreams? ¿What are my needs?

Wed 20090506
* I need to take things out of my life. I need to prioritize. I cannot do so many things. Less things and enjoy what I do.
* My heart is shrinked. I'm out of my place at work. I need to keep out of things that are not my own. Feeling once more oppressed. Not sleeping well.
* My prayer for Jxxx and Txxx in New York.

Thu 20090507

John 14, 1-12:
"Do no let your hearts be troubled.
Trust in God still, and trust in me.
There are many rooms in my Father's house;
if there were not, I should have told you.
I am now going to prepare a place for you,
and after I have gone and prepared you a place,
I shall return to take you with me;
so that where I am
you may be too".

* My dearest Lord, do not let my heart be troubled. I could sleep better yesterday. Thank you for that. I was horribly tired yesterday after work. I could do my shopping (after a month).

Mon 20090511
* What the eyes never saw, what the ears never heard, what the mind would ever conceive, what my dearest Lord has reserved for those who love him. My dearest Lord, I know You have dreams for me. That You marvel at Your thoughts of happiness for me. Let me know Your plan, Your happiness project for me. I cannot grasp it. Let me be fast to listen to You, May my ears and heart not be closed to Your plans. I need to know. May I accept them.
* Help me with xxx. He's now back. Don't allow me to think too much about him.
* My dearest prayer for Txxx. His mother is passing away. He's well affected. My prayer for him, the family and his mum.
* My dearest Lord, help me get back my sleep. To be able to rest.
* Thank you for the meeting on Saturday. I liked it. xxx was there, but I think it did not affect me. I was not thinking of him the following day. I could sleep well.

Tue 20090512
* Yesterday, I went to my jesuit group. The candidates for the pastoral council introduced themselves. I liked being there. Thank you very much for their availability and enthusiasm. Mxxx told me to offer myself. I rejected his proposal. I could see that I cannot be so available and that I don't have their enthusiasm. It was a pleasure to listen to them. You have camped among them. It was good to contemplate it.
* Pxxx had invited us to come and see her. She lost her husband recently after having a baby. This was a difficult situation. Let me just make myself present.
* My prayer for Txxx (the radio and dearest New Yorker priest) and his family. I had never seen him talk with stumbled voice but now. May Your peace be with him and his family. I will attend the funeral this evening.
* May we walk together the way of the cross. Let me meet the resurrection Easter.
* Thank you for the invitation of Oxxx to go to his place for a simple dinner. I will not attend for I have a party of a person from work who will marry in a few weeks. I would prefer to go to Oxxx's but I think I should go to the other one.

John 14, 1-12:
"I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one can come to the Father except through me. If you know me, you know my Father too".

* Let me stick to you, my dearest. I need your support. Let me contemplate the very good things around me.

Thu 20090514
* Do not let my heart be troubled. What have you thought of me to make me happy in this world? Let me accept it, get identified with it, like it. Let me see what I am and what I have. What's the project you thought about?
* May I be a good will messenger, a peace maker. May Your good will be conveyed through me. I feel sometimes lonely, not many look at me or get interested in me. I'm not "famous", many people don't count on me, some see me as a "peaceful" and loving idiot.
* Let me like this place. This is what I am. Sometimes I don't like it. I'd rather be somebody else. Is this what You want out of me?

Mon 20090518
* My dearest Lord, nice weekend, lots of happenings. Thank you for them. I cannot complain.
* Thank you for Cxxx's party before she gets married. I had a good feeling in the end of the party. I felt relieved. I kissed Cxxx saying goodbye and she smiled.
* Going to mass with Txxx for San Isidro. He offered the mass for his mother. About meeting Pxxx Cxxx and having a drink the three of us. Saying goodbye for Txxx will return to New York.
* About visiting Pxxx, meeting her little daughter. Going with Rxxx. She lost her husband three weeks after her daughter was born. Making ourselves present and chat a little. That was the first time we visited her and fortunately will not be the last. She lives so near the Sacred Family parish. I thought of Mxxx who is working there.
* About finishing the review of the paper that Risk magazine sent me. It's been some work but it was worth the effort. I learnt.
* Speding Saturday afternoon with family, my nephew and niece. I had a good time. About the little party to see the eurovision festival.
* Meeting my girls and Jxxx on Sunday morning. Ixxx called me to have lunch with me. My prayer for him. He is not in his best moment. He thanked me for eating and talking to him.
* This weekend I have though more than I would have liked of xxx. He is not to blame for what is hapenning and I'm not to blame either. This situation is what it is and the only thing we can do is to learn to be patient. I hope he understands it. Our encounter last week after a month and a half without seeing each other was very cold (mainly on my side). I will not see him in another month. May my dearest Lord help me so that we might be friends again.

Tue 20090519
Si nous pouvions savoir qu'une vie hereuse est posible, même aux heures d'obscurité ...

Pour qu'une vie soit belle, il n'est pas indispensable d'avoir des capacités exceptionelles ou de grandes facilités: il y a un bonheur dans le don de soi-même.

Ce qui rend hereuse une existence, c'est d'avancer vers la simplicité: celle de notre coeur, et de notre vie.

Quand la simplicité est intimement associée à la bonté du coeur, un être humain peut créer un terrain d'esperance autour de lui.

Frère Roger de Taizé


Si pudiéramos saber que una vida feliz es posible incluso en momentos de oscuridad ...

Para una vida sea feliz, no es indispensable tener capacidades excepcionales o grandes cualidades: existe la felicidad en el simple don de uno mismo.

Lo que hace feliz una existencia, es avanzar hacia la simplicidad: la del corazón y la de nuestra vida.

Cuando la simplicidad se asocia íntimamente a la bondad del corazón, un ser humano puede crear un espacio de esperanza alrededor de sí.

Hermano Roger de Taizé


If only could we know that a happy life is possible, even in moments of darkness.

For a life to be happy, it is not necessary to have exceptional capabilities or big skills: there is happiness within the gift of oneself.

What makes a life happy, is to progress towards simplicity: that of our heart and that of our life.

When simplicity is intimately associated to the goodness of our heart, a human beeing can create a space of hope around him.

Brother Roger from Taizé

* These words by Roger seem to answer the questions that I have been asking to myself for some time. A response to the goodness of heart and simplicity of life as the keystones of happiness. I have been disdaining the goodness of heart that my dearest Lord has brought to me. Happiness conveived as the gift of creating a space of hope around oneself to be given to others.
* Maybe the goodness of heart would not make me feel that other people feel appealed to me. However, this is what my dearest Lord wanted for me and for the other people. I'm fully developing myself as the Lord wants (even if I don't particularly like it).


Wed 20090527
* Next Saturday, I will not attend the meeting at CRISMHOM. This was a meeting of review of life with the new group Exodo. I was writing them a little word to tell how I'm feeling.

Queridos todos:

Espero que estéis muy bien. Me temo que no voy a poder estar con vosotros en la reunión del sábado. Espero que la segunda reunión (y casi última del curso) sea de provecho y os ayude al enriquecimiento mutuo.

A pesar de no poder estar, quería compartir con vosotros un texto que he estado leyendo estos días. No es gran cosa, pero a mí me está ayudando a encontrar mi sitio. Está sacado del último libro que escribió el hermano Roger de Taizé antes de que le mataran hace tres aÑos.

En la última reunión os decía que me resultaba fácil imaginarme al de Arriba pensando en un proyecto de felicidad para cada uno de nosotros. Un proyecto único en el que el mismo Dios se recrea pensando en sus planes para hacernos felices. También os decía que aunque sabía que ese plan existía, llevaba unos meses en los que me resultaba muy difícil intuirlo, atisbarlo. No acabo de encontrarme en mi sitio, en ese proyecto maravilloso de Dios ha elaborado para mí. Este texto me ayuda a intuirlo.

"Si pudiéramos saber que una vida feliz es posible incluso en momentos de oscuridad ...

Para que una vida sea feliz, no es indispensable tener capacidades excepcionales o grandes cualidades: existe la felicidad en el simple don de uno mismo.

Lo que hace feliz una existencia, es avanzar hacia la simplicidad: la del corazón y la de nuestra vida.

Cuando la simplicidad se asocia íntimamente a la bondad del corazón, un ser humano puede crear un espacio de esperanza alrededor de sí".

Hermano Roger de Taizé

Intuyo que el lugar que desea para mí el de Arriba se crea uniendo la bondad de corazón que Él ha estado trabajando en mí desde hace aÑos con la simplicidad de vida y corazón. Y que de esta unión surga la capacidad de crear un espacio de esperanza en torno a uno y que sea esto lo que nos hace felices, sin necesitar grandes cualidades o capacidades. Simplemente en el mismo don de uno mismo se encuentra la capacidad para ser felices.

Llevo tiempo en el que no valoro la bondad de mi corazón. Ser bueno no me hace atractivo al mundo, me hace sentirme solo e incomprendido. Es un camino duro y difícil. Siento que el mundo no se siente atraído por la bondad. La bondad no suscita interés, es aburrida, no es divertida. Así me siento en varios ámbitos de mi vida (afortunadamente no en CRISMHOM).

Hoy presiento que mi SeÑor me ha ido haciendo sencillo y bueno para crear ese espacio de esperanza para otros en torno a mí. El SeÑor quiere canalizar su amor al mundo de esta manera. Ese quizá es el plan que el SeÑor está trazando cuidadosamente para mí y que tanto le ilusiona para hacerme feliz. Ese es el lugar y el hueco que intuyo ha buscado para mí.

Sin embargo, no siempre me siento atraído por este lugar. Siento que se me acaban las fuerzas, que soy un idiota, que se ríen de mí.

"De poco sirve lo que tu sientas, si Dios se siente realizado y te hace a su gusto", decía Teilard de Chardin.

Hoy le agradezco al SeÑor que siga teniendo planes para mí, aunque no sean los que más me interesan, ni los que más me apetezcan. Porque el SeÑor no me da lo que quiero, cuando lo quiero y como lo quiero, sino que me da lo que necesito, cuando lo necesito y como lo necesito.


Although I will not be with you next Saturday, I wanted to share with you a text that I have been reading these days. It's not that great thing, but it is helping me to find my place. It is taken from the last book that Brother Roger wrote before he was killed three years ago.

In our last meeting I was telling you that it was easy for me to imagine the One from Above thinking of a happiness project for each one of us. A unique project in which God himself rejoices thinking of the plans that He has to make us happy. I was also telling you that although I knew that this plan existed, it was getting very difficult for me to figure it out, to peek it. I haven't found myself in the right place, in that wonderful project that God has created for me. This text helps me to do it.

"If only could we know that a happy life is possible, even in moments of darkness.

For a life to be happy, it is not necessary to have exceptional capabilities or big skills: there is happiness within the simple gift of oneself.

What makes a life happy, is to progress towards simplicity: that of our heart and that of our life.

When simplicity is intimately associated to the goodness of our heart, a human beeing can create a space of hope around oneself".

Brother Roger from Taizé

My intuition tells me that the place the One from Above is willing for me is created by joining the goodness of heart He has been developing in me for the past years and the simplicity of heart and life. And may from this union emerge this possibility of creating a space of hope around oneself and may this make us happy, without the need of great skills or qualities. Simply in the gift of oneself can we be happy.

It's been some time in which I don't value the goodness my dearest Lord has put in my heart. Being good does not make me appealing to the world, it makes me feel lonely and not properly understood. It is a hard and difficult way. I feel the world does not feel appealed to goodness. Good will hearts don't awake interest, they are boring, not amusing. That's how I feel in several aspects of my life (fortunately not CRISMHOM).

I feel today that my dearest Lord has made me simple and good to create that space of hope for other people around me. My dearest Lord wants to convey his love to the world in this way. This is perhaps the plan that my dearest Lord is carefully thinking for me, the plan He is so much enthusiasted with to make me happy. That's the place, the little corner I think He's looked for me.

However, I don't always feel myself attracted to this place. I feel my strengh abandons me, that I am a fool, that people laugh at me.

"Of little use becomes what you feel, if God feels full making you, the way He wants", said Teilard de Chardin.

Today I thank my dearest Lord because He may continue having plans for me, even if I'm not interested in them or I'm not most willing to want them. For the Lord does not give me what I want, when I want it and how I want it, but He gives me what I need, when I need it and how I need it. Let me trust, my dearest Lord.