Spiritual Sharing December 2008

Mon 20081215
* My prayer for dad. I saw him yesterday. He was very tired. Let me know what I can do for him. There is still a lot of noise in the family. Make us patient with these undesired situations which expand through time. May we learn something about them. May we find You through them. Still, help us cope with them.
* I told xxx what I felt for him. That was a big step. Thank you for helping me. I still need Your help. I need to protect my heart, keep in touch with other people. I need to keep xxx a little distant from my mind, get to know other people. Give me Your peace. I need to sleep better.
* Thank you for the dinner on Friday. It was a big effort but it was worthwhile. Everyone enjoyed it. I could share playing the piano with them. It was not about showing off but sharing perhaps some of my most intimate self through my own music. I didn't tell them that the core of the program was formed by music that I had composed myself. I didn't want to impress them but share with them some music that moves my heart.

Tue 20081216
* Isaiah 61, 1-2; 10-11:
The spirit of the Lord God has been given to me
for the Lord has annointed me.
He has sent me to bring good news to the poor,
to bind up hearts that are broken;
to proclaim liberty to captives,
freedom to those in prison;
to proclaim a year of favour from the Lord,
I exult for joy in the Lord,
my soul rejoices in my God,
for he has clothed me in the garments of salvation,
like a bridegroom wearing his wreath,
like a bride adorned in her jewels.
For as the earth makes fresh things grow,
as a garden makes seeds spring up,
so will the Lord God make both integrity and praise
spring up in the sight of the nations.

* Yesterday Exxx called me to offer me a job to work with him. I feel praised and taken into account. However, I rejected his offer. The main reason was that the situation of my family. If I have to move to Barcelona for this job, I think that I will get apart my family and also my personal life. I thought this was not the right moment. With all the noise that my family is experiencing in the past year and a half, the only thing we can to is to be joined together.

Mon 20081222
* My prayer for Nxxx. His father was in hospital yesterday. Fortunately, he will be sent home to spend Christmas time. Having a difficult time, taking care of his father. Let me have him in my mind and my prayer.
* I went with dad to a concert on Saturday morning. This was the first concert in four months in which my dad accepted coming. It was very good. I was very happy we did go.
* Saturday night I went to bed late for I went out with a group of people. xxx was there. I could not sleep that night. I spent a horrible Sunday morning. I went for a walk. That was good. I joined my parents for lunch. My father was quite well. Thanks for that. When I left I was still feeling horrible. In the evening I went to see Judas Maccabeus with a group of people. Thank you for this group, especially the presence of Jxxx. They brought me the laugh and optimism that I had lost during the whole day. The concert was good. This was the first time Oxxx went to a concert like this. He enjoyed it very much. We were reading together the text in English. That helped us significantly to enjoy.
* Irrational feelings, just feelings. Not justified by reasons. Having a hard time. Let me learn from them. There's nothing wrong with them. I'm alive, very alive, so alive. Teach me, my dearest Lord to protect a little my heart. Hopefully, xxx is not playing with it. May the peace and love of my dearest Lord be in this situation.

Mon 20081230
* My prayer for dad. May he get better. Let us transmit him some hope.
* I was out of reality. I start to land a little. Let me not concentrate on persons who have shown no interest in me accross the years. Let me concentrate on those who at least have shown some interest.
* May still your infinite love be poured on the people around me. Give me your peace and serenity so that I may transmit Your love and nothing else.
* I feel stupid. I am perhaps stupid. Let me learn out of my errors. Jxxx gave me some good advice. It was hard to talk to him. He was pointing out my errors up to the point of hurting. However, it was good to talk to him.
* My heart is open and vulnerable through different ways. I'm trying to protect it a little. Closing down some of those ways. Help me to resist, not to break down. I feel life is hard. Let me learn out of this situation. Let me enjoy that I feel alive. So much alive as I have not experienced in some time.
* I avoid conflict. I'm good at that. There are two people who have already told me that. I should define myself more clearly. That will lead me to conflict. Let me start living with conflict.
* Thank you for the walk with Dxxx and Axxx yesterday. I'm happy to have seen them together after meeting them for the first time two years ago in San Francisco.

Wed 20081231
* My prayer for dad. He came with us to the concert last night. The ninth symphony by Beethoven. It was great. He enjoyed it very much. He thought of not coming but in the end he came and it was worthwhile. He started the day horribly but improved a little throughout the day.
* My dearest Lord, love me; love me with your infinite love. I need to feel it. You took always the iniciative to encounter me. You call me, You keep track on me. You lead, I follow. You make yourself present and I know it. You surprise me. You ask me who I am. You are interested in me and You make me know it.
* Numbers 6, 22-27
This is how you are to bless the sons os Israel. You shall say to them:

May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord let his face shine on you and be gracious to you.
May the Lord uncover his face to you and bring you peace.

This is how they are to call down my name on the sons of Israel, and I will bless them.