Spiritual Sharing March 2008

Mon 20080303
* About the choking attack dad had yesterday evening at my grandmother's house when we both were taking care of my grandmother while my aunt was out taking some time out. My father's mood was good yesterday before the attack. After it, it descended towards earth level. It was not too long but left my father totally exhausted.
* My dearest Lord, I don't know what to do with this happening. I deposit it onto Your hands. I don't understand whether this has any meaning. I don't understand, but there are so many things coming from You that I don't understand. May Your presence descend upon dad. May my dearest Lord support him, relieve his fears. May he know that after all You are with him, taking care. May we all take the best out of this hard situation that is getting long, especially for my aunt and my parents.
* About the conversation I had yesterday with Axxx. It was good to talk to him. We both enjoyed the conversation. I thank for having him as a friend. I wrote an email to Axxx as a consequence of this conversation.
* Feeling this morning with my heart a bit shrinked. I offer this to You. May You do whatever is best according to Your criterion.

Wed 20080305
* Yesterday I went to a concert with my aunt. I found her quite good and I'm very happy about that. There is a person coming in the morning to help her out and she indeed does. The load has been significantly releaved. She was talking me about the Shakespeare reading she had to do when she was studying English many years ago. In the concert we heard "A Midsummer's night dream" (one of those readings she did). My prayer for my grandmother.
* I phoned home yesterday night to see how dad was going. He did well yesterday morning and slightly worse in the evening. He was better, his tension had come down. May he progressively recover.

Fri 20080314
* About the conversation that I had with Exxx Cxxx last night. He has reached a difficult situation. Being supportive and helping him out to take a good decision. My prayer for him. May he achieve economic stability to reach stability in all other life disciplines.
* Dad came yesterday by home. He has recovered a lot from the last choking attack he had in front of me two weeks ago. My aunt is also going better. May my dearest God accept my thanksgiving prayer for these gifts.
* About contacting people once more from the internet. My process with Axxx seems to be over. Getting to know new people. About somebody who took inniciative towards me. Feeling on my side appealed to him.
* Going to the Easter retreat with Welcome and Sharing. It seems good to do this.

Mon 20080317
* I pray for grandma. She is deteriorating quickly. She's neither eating nor drinking. Yesterday I spent a few hours in the evening and helped out holding her onto bed. It is difficult for a single person to manage her. She was complaining. Sometimes, she was praying.
* About Chxxx passing away on Saturday morning. I called Mxxx (her daughter) on Saturday morning. On Sunday, my parents and I spent the whole morning in the tanatory. Giving out our presence, support, a few words. Dad prepared some prayers for a non-religious audience. About Pxxx's (Mxxx's husband) words. Thanking emotionally for our presence. We were just a few people. He said that they were alone except for this little group that was present. My prayer for them both and for Chxxx. She will join my other grandmother (her sister) and will be all happy together with the rest of their beloved.
* Helping out my brother with the furniture moving on Saturday. Dad, he and me together. It was fine but we were all tired by the end of day.
* This was a busy weekend, very much in the Lent spirit. May my dearest Lord be with us.

Tue 20080318
* My prayer for Exxx. I paid his rent this month. He was decided to return back to his country. May he quiet down a little, so that he may take a good decision.
* Jxxx told me yesterday that she had news for us. I guess that that could mean that she is leaving for the US to live in New York. Those would be very good news, though we will miss her.

Sat 20080322
* I'm in he Easter retreat organized by Welcome and Sharing. Having a good time. Meeting new people. Encountering others I already knew. A good experience. From a spiritual point of view, not very intensive. But this is very fine.
* Calling dad and mum to know about how my grandma is doing. Dad continues a little like everyday. He feels good or bad depending on the day.
* The most emotional moment in this experience so far was yesterday night during the night prayer. There was an intergenerational discussion in group before the prayer. The young people were said to be weak and not too much willing to be responsible, to compromise their lifes. During the night prayer I put my hand in the side of the back of one of them. It was a gentle touch. I could see the impact in him and so the impact in me. Jxxx Lxxx was right. The most intense moments are always related to people, to human beings. Not that much of ideas. He thanked me the following day. I returned my thanks to him for we could both thank each other for becoming each of us the instrument of my dearest Lord.

Sun 20080323
* About the story Cxxx shared with me. A young peruan girl who lost her parents. She went to school led by the Sisters of Charity. When she was still very young (17), she entered the order and after a year was moved to Spain. She left the order and found herself alone in Spain. She started to work and to study too. In a supper she met a woman who adopted her and invited her to live in her own house. She still remembers vividly the experience with the Sisters of Charity. Being in contact with them.
* I joined a group of young people on Saturday. I became very emotional when I heard some of fheir sharing. I was silent the whole time, just listening. These are the feelings I used to have when leading the welcome group in my jesuit community three years ago.
* Meeting nice people, good people. This was not a particularly intense Easter from a spiritual point of view. Let me enjoy the simplicity of everyday life, where experiences are not necessarily very intense.

Mon 20080324
* About the return trip back to Madrid with Gxxx. We had a good time. We took advantage to share some of our lifes, It was so much better to have her company rather than coming back on my own.
* Feeling a little spiritual hangover from these days.
* Grandma continues pretty much the same. May she realize that You are there, that my aunt is there and the rest of us.

Thu 20080327
* My grandmother passed away on Monday night. May she rest peacefully. Thank you, my dearest Lord, for now she is in Your company. The last night I was with her she was saying (maybe without sence) "how bad, how bad". In the midst of these words she was praying pieces of a Hail Mary. This scene might be interpreted by me perhaps in a different way of what she was thinking or realizing (if she realized of anything at all). This scene was very sad. Now she is peaceful and rests in Your hands. Dad led a prayer time with some readings and prayers he had prepared.

"In manus tuas Pater, commendo spiritus meum"

* After arranging all the details, we slept a few hours. We spent the following day in the tanatory, receiving relatives and friends. We brought things to read and do to take advantage of the time. Indeed , we could not do anything for there were visitors all along the day. Many people came. More than what anyone of us could expect. We were not alone a single moment. Thank you for this company. About the messages and phone calls I received from the people of my work.

* On Wednesday we buried her in the presence of the closest relatives and friends. That turned out to be quite emotional.
* We all celebrated the resurrection of our dearest Balbi going to "El Pardo" to eat together to a restaurant. This was such a nice idea from my father. My grandma enjoyed very much going to this place.
* About how grateful my aunt was with the people that took care of granma during the last months. So thankful with the nun who sent her these two women. About my aunt thinking of becoming a volunteer for the homeless table she runs. My aunt is not linked with the church. However, all these attitudes and feelings are so much those of my dearest Lord.

Fri 20080328
* My prayer for my aunt. For the first time in several years, I will invite her for a drink tonight, after the concert. May I help her to recover her life little by little. I remember Txxx talking to her in the burial. She became very emotional. Later on, she told us that Txxx simply had said that he was realizing that "we love each other".
* About Ixxx, I liked very much his presence yesterday night. He's more of a listener. He reminds me Sxxx a lot.
* Thank you for the remaining calls sending condolences for the death of my grandma.

Mon 20080331
* About the conversation I had with my aunt on Friday night after the concert. She has returned home just after the concert for years to be with my grandma. I proposed her to go for a drink. I told her about my dating plans. We shared quite intimately. My prayer for her. May she recover promptly from the death of grandma.
* Today it was the 96th birthday of my grandma. We celebrated it on Saturday in my grandma's house with my aunt. Dad felt really bad. He was not in the mood of anything. He felt choked and probably affected by returning back to mum's. On Sunday I had lunch with them again.
* Thank you for the walk with Ixxx. I enjoyed very much his company. He has invited me tomorrow for an organ concert. Happy to have met him.
* My prayer for Exxx. He's got a big mess. He's doing his best but doesn't have something stable and consistent yet. I told Exxx to support him with her experience with a tele-operator job.