Spiritual Sharing April 2010

Mon 20100405
* I spent the Easter celebration days with my parents, my brother and his wife and their children. I also went to the Easter services. Maybe this was not the most spiritual Easter. However, I had a great time with the whole family. I could spend plenty of time with my nephew and niece. I could sleep very well and rest (that's something I needed). I exchanged a lot of sms messages these days. Some of them indeed very moving.
* Enjoying the simple presence, helping out mum and my sister in law with house tasks, my brother with repairs and improvements in the house. Going for a walk with dad, the children, my sister in law. Thinking that if I were married, my life would be something like this. An exercise of presence and domestic tasks. I enjoyed it very much. I could also sleep very well the day previous to getting back to work.
* Thank you for the message from Lxxx in my way to this village on the train. It was very moving and unexpected. May the will of my dearest Lord be accomplished. In his hands it is my destiny.
 
Tue 20100406
* Yesterday, I finished the day very tired. I felt somehow discouraged. This morning I felt the same way. There are many things which psicologically oppress me. They should not. I need ti get things done.
* My prayer for Hxxx. He is between death and life in Canada. He was at home last summer. He enjoyed very much being with me. I hope he enjoyed it.
 
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His love has no end.
 
¿Qué viste de camino, María, en la mañana? A mi Señor glorioso, sudarios y mortaja: ¡resucitó de veras mi amor y mi esperanza!
 
What did you see this morning, Maria, through the way? I sawmy glorious Lord, sudaries and death wrappings. Hope indeed ofIndeed my love was risen

Wed 20100407
* May the Risen from the dead walk beside us following our own particular way. May He make our hearts burn as those of the disciples of Emaus as they heard what is said about You in the scriptures. May You break the bread for us. May we recognize You.

Thu 20100408
* Que el Resucitado camine a tu lado y haga arder tu corazón como a los discípulos de Emaús. Para que te conceda el regalo de reconocerle.
* My prayer for Hxxx. He is about to die. He was at my home last summer for more than a month. He is now in Canada. May he join you promptly if that is Your will.

Fri 20100409
* What a great surprise and happiness to find Lxxx, yesterday evening! Willing so much to hug him.
* My dearest and most tender prayer for Hxxx. He passed away yesterday. I was not very affected. Maybe, I have too many things to do. Mum was more affected than me. A strange and peculiar person. Extraordinary in many senses. Difficult to share life with, for his own rithms. I had a good experience with him last summer. I will no longer see him but I hope that he is with You, my dearest Lord.

¡Echa las redes mar adentro, hombre de fe,
y pescarás una multitud copiosa de almas!

Throw deep nets within the sea, faithful man, and you will catch a great multitude of fish.

Mon 20100412
* My dearest prayer for Mxxx Exxx. She told me that she is getting sadder after the death of her mother. Keeping very busy. Now even busier. May she recover from the absence of Ixxx.
* Thank you for the wonderful concert on Friday. The presence os dad and my aunt. Thank you for the picnic in Cercedilla in Saturday morning with Dxxx and Lxxx; also for the presence of Axxx.
* You made my heart burn on Sunday. Preparing a simple warming up prayer for the meeting of the board of directors of CRISMHOM.

Tue 20100413
* Feeling a little discouraged today. Oppressed by work, by things.
* Feeling that the best decision is taken when one feels good and not oppressed.

Wed 20100414
* Busy with CRISMHOM, it seems that it is taking more time than usual.
* My prayer for Jxxx and Mxxx Exxx. May they find your company.

Good morning, missionary of happiness, of love and hope! A burst of light is the day, a great gift for you from the great Father.

¡Buenos días, misionero de la alegría, de la esperanza y el amor! El día es un estallido de luz, un gran regalo del Padre para ti.

See Your loyalty it's great,
See Your loyalty it's uncomparable.
Noone's as You are, my dearest God.
Great I behold Your loyalty!

Tu fidelidad es grande,
Tu fidelidad incomparable es.
Nadie como Tú, bendito Dios.
¡Grande es tu fidelidad!

Thu 20100415

El que viene del cielo está por encima de todos. De lo que ha visto y oído da testimonio y nadie lo acepta. El que acepta su testimonio certifica la veracidad de Dios. El que Dios envió habla las palabras de Dios porque no da el Espíritu con medida.

* To do things well done, let me convey Your spirit without meassure. To talk the words and have the thoughts You inspire me, I cannot but convey Your Spirit without meassure.

¡Dichoso tú, Axxx, que has sido agraciado por Aquel que te ha dado un espíritu sin medida!

Happy you, Axxx, for you have been gifted by That very One who has given you an unmesurable spirit!

Fri 20100416
* My tender prayer for Jxxx, our current president from CRISMHOM. People want to know about him, how is he doing. They want to enrich their prayer with common daily knowings about him.
* For Jxxx, the husband of Mxxx Axxx. I met him during the Easter retreat in 2009. He suffered a few days ago, a very severe heart attack. He's strong, but now between life and death.
* For my dear most strange Canadian friend, Hxxx. He passed away a week ago. Be with them all, especially with their families.

Sat 20100417
Ninguno de nosotros vive para sí mismo y ninguno de muere para sí mismo. Si vivimos, vivimos para el Señor; si morimos, morimos para el Señor; en la vida y en la muerte somos del Señor. Para esto murió y resucitó Cristo: para ser Señor de vivos y muertos.

Noone of us live for oneself and noone dies for oneself. If we live, we live for the Lord; if we die, we die for the Lord; in life and death we belong to the Lord. That's why Jesus died and rose up: to be Lord of life and death.

Sun 20100418
* Now I feel peaceful. Ordinary life. Nothing really special. Yesterday night I felt a little strange. I need to give plenty of time to those feelings which after 39 years have not been the center of attention of my life and now start to be. Willing to share my life with someone else. I don't feel very attatched to my job. Impossible relationships.
* Thank you for this trip to Cáceres. Wonderful city, old city, Jxxx and Lxxx showed it to me, especially Lxxx. I met the family of Lxxx, one brother, one sister and their partners. Both families pregnant, so enthusiasted with having their babies. We saw an ecography of Sxxx. Wonderful welcome from their parents, feeling at home. Spending the evening with some of Lxxx's parish friends. Nice people. Most of them with little children. Great moments.
* What are you plans for me, my dearest Lord?
* Feeling a little hangovered in the train on my way back to Madrid. Nice scenery, everything green. This year might be exceptional; its' rained so much. Sometimes thinking that It would be better to stop doing these trips.
* Let me find my own way, the path You inspire me. I'm not sure this is the path I wanted to follow. At least, let it be Yours.
* I thought that we would not prepare that prayer I wanted to organise for Friday night. Only inspired songs, short sentences. I was very pleased for in the end Lxxx prepared it with me. He was quick on learning those songs that make me feel so close to You. Loosing my breath when trying to sing them. Ixxx trying to follow her own scheme of morning prayer :-) ... I enjoyed this prayer very much.
* Contradictory feelings. Feeling hangovered by leaving and so much willing to keep distance by arriving. Short trip. Busy working. Looking at the nice view from the window of the train. Continue working. Contradictory feelings, ups and downs. Sometime all these feelings will stablilize. May all do in Your presence.

Mon 20100419
* My prayer for Jxxx. His cancer treatment started a few days ago. May he feel supported and in company of people.
* My prayer for Jxxx, the husband of Mxxx Axxx. Fighting between life and death.

See Your loyalty it's great,
See Your loyalty it's uncomparable.
Noone's as You are, my dearest God.
Great I behold Your loyalty!

Tu fidelidad es grande,
Tu fidelidad incomparable es.
Nadie como Tú, bendito Dios.
¡Grande es tu fidelidad!

Then he said to him a third time, "Simon, son od John, do you love me?". Peter was upset that he asked him the third time. He said to him: "You know everything; you know I love you". Jesus said: "feed my sheep".

Fri 20100423
* I can hardly stand myself today. Yesterday, it was not very different. Ups and downs, clear and unclear, low and high, mountain and valley; my dearest Lord, I can hardly stand myself. Changes of mood, too busy perhaps.
* I saw Mxxx yesterday. She had a good aspect. My prayer for her and also for Mxxx Exxx. She is nervious and tense for her son. Going through some difficulties. My the presence of my dearest be with them.

Sat 20100424
* I did not sleep well last night. I arrived at the retreat frustrated, late and tired. Today I feel imprisoned. Without many alternatives, willing so much to disappear, get out, be alone. Fortunately, I won't be alone and I will have to stand being with the other people. That's good, although I might prefer being alone.
* My prayer for Jxxx. Why should I complain so much.

Mon 20100426
* I'm a fool, a fool of God. Yesterday, I couldn't sleep. I will not have what I wanted. I've lost him. I'm stupid perhaps. Maybe I'm too loyal, too cautious not to hurt. My competitors do not act like me. They are quicker. Maybe pure goodness is not attractive. I don't belong to this world. It seems to me that I will loose all my opportunities.
* Take care, my dearest Lord, of Dxxx and Mxxx. They are sad, they are devastated. May they accept the situation without resentment. May their hearts be cured and restablished. May I do the same thing, though my pain is so small compared to theirs. And still, it is so big, how big can theirs be? I can hardly imagine it. May my way to get out of this situation be to take care of them.

Tue 20100427
* Thank you, my dearest Lord, for I could sleep last night. Today I feel better. More stable, quieter. Assuming my role in this situation: take care of everyone. People would love me, but they would not fall in love with me. Let me get out of the center of attention, I'm out of the scene. I can just take care. Maybe, this is my liferole.

Tomad Señor y recibid,
toda mi libertad, mi memoria,
mi entendimiento y toda mi voluntad.
Todo mi haber y mi poseer.
Vos me lo dísteis, a Vos Señor lo torno.
Todo es vuestro.
Disponed de todo a vuestra voluntad.
Dadme vuestro amor y gracia,
que esta me basta.

Take Lord and receive,
all my liberty, my memory,
my understanding and all my will.
All what I have and what I am.
You gave it to me, I return it to You.
All is Yours.
Arrage everything at Your own will.
Give me your love and grace that
that's all I need.

Thu 20100429
* Intense days. Schrinked heart, lots of prayer. Praying mainly for others. Taking care of them. You take care of me. Difficult week for some of my most loved. I'm there too, but somehow out of the scene. I wish I were in, but I'm not. You led me not to be in. I can just take care. There is nothing left for me but just knowing that I do your will.
* Sending many SMS messages. They are the means to make your presence.

Tu eres mi Dios y en tus manos está mi destino. Con esta frase me felicitabas por mi cumple. Tenla presente estos días. Es de oro, como el que la escribió.

You are my God and my destiny is in your hands. With this sentence you wished me happy birthday. Have it well in mind these days. It is made of gold as the one who wrote it.

Quería decir algo, pero me he quedado sin palabras. Sólo una voz de aliento silenciosa con todo el cariño.

I wanted to say something, but I've run out of words. Only a silent supporting voice with all my love.

Hallowed be your name. May your will be done. Give us strength to go forward. Teach us how to forgive as you forgives us.

Gracias por estar ahí. Le pido a Dios que no tenga rencor a nadie, que pueda perdonar y que me dé su amor. Dame fuerzas, Señor, para ver que tú estás en mi vida y que eso es bueno para mí.

Llevararán en brazos a sus criaturas y sobre sus rodillas los acariciarán y en Jerusalén seréis consolados.

Como un joven se casa con su novia, así te desposa el que te creó.

Doy gracias a Dios por todo el bien que me ha hecho. Espero en Él y volveré a alabarlo. Sé que Dios está detrás de todo esto y será bueno para nosotros.

Las aguas torrenciales no podrán apagar el amor.

Muchas gracias por tu palabra. Del Señor me he fiado, en Él confiaré, juntaré mis manos y le invocaré.

Porque dije: "tu misericordia es un edificio eterno, no abandones la obra de tus manos". Gracias por estar ahí.