SpiritualSharing January 2007
Tue 20070109
* My grandmother has been in the hospital from New Years' Eve up to today. She's 94. The doctors managed to find out what was wrong with her and she seems to be fine now.
* My father, my aunt and my mother have been taking care of her all these days. The rest of the family has also visited her almost everyday to allow especially my aunt to take a rest.
* My brother and I went to visit her one day after going shopping for Christmas gifts. I think we dropped out our best present at the end of the day when we went to the hospital.
* The following day I went to buy a present to my grandma. I invited my mother to come over with me but she had just spent the whole morning with my grandma and was exausted and worried (my grandma had not spent a good morning). I went on my own not very confident of finding anything. However, I found a beautiful and warm blouse with little flowers for daily use at home.
* I asked my aunt to bring her laptop to the hospital to try a television board. In the evening I brought a long television cable that I had at home and were able to watch TV at the hospital. My grandma could see and hear as the laptop was in front of her. She enjoyed very much the Kings parade the following day. My aunt used a little light that could be connected to the computer (my brother gave it to her last year) to read at night as my grandma didn't sleep very well. She is downloading books from the internet and enjoys a lot reading them from the computer screen.
* I hosted the meal on Kings' day. I prepared fried peppers and a paella. My mother came over a few hours before lunchtime and we spent a very nice time cooking together. The meal was very good. Everyone enjoyed it. My father was with my grandma in the hospital. After the meal we went to visit them and bring their gifts. We brought with us my brothers' six-month-old daughter: the little Mxxx.
* About choosing the best gifts. We gave the blouse to my grandma and she liked it very much. However, the best gift that evening was our presence and specially the presence of the little Mxxx. Contemplating the joy of my grandma playing with the smiling Mxxx among all of us.
* Thank you for the conversation with Fxxx yesterday. He is a good friend that I don't see very often. It was good to update each other. I told him about my trials to reach a relationship. He gave me the perspective of the impartial outsider not having any need himself on that issue. It was very helpful.
* I sent Christmas greetings to a deacon I met with Mxxx last summer. I also enclosed my notes about my encountering experience with the Lord through the acceptance and integration of my sexual orientation. He anwered me back very warmly thanking the greetings and the notes.
* About forwarding this mail to Mxxx. He is very good friends with this deacon but not out to him yet. I guess my presence connects my being gay with Mxxx being gay. Just a little trial to encourage him to come out. I guess Mxxx follows his own pace as we all do. Let me be sympathetic with him as Fxxx suggested. A few days later Mxxx answered this mail thanking me for sharing this deacons' mail with him.
* Continuing the writing of my technical paper. Thinking of new ideas which come over as long as I write.
* Last Sunday I went to the parish I usually go to mass. There was a woman animating the liturgy that I had not seen before. She approached me at the end of the mass asking for any kind of help as new people were necessary to animate the parish. I told her that I had been working in a parish for over 10 years and I could understand very well what she was doing and why. I told her that I already belonged to another group and I didn't have time. She asked me about this group. I told her that I was gay and that this group was probably one out of the only two christian gay groups in Madrid. I told her that I my place was there. She agreed and thanked very much the conversation we had just had.
* My dearest Lord, these are intense times, lots of happenings. My heart is somehow going up and down but certainly alive. I thank You for helping me out putting all these happenings and feelings together and realizing of Your presence through them. The foundation of my life is a collection of daily simple little happenings. Thank you for they show me who You are. I like the way You are. Thank You for being the way You are.
Sun 20070114
* Is 62,1-5:
"About Zion I will not be silent,
about Jerusalem I will not grow weary,
until her integrity shines out like the dawn
and her salvation flames like a torch.
The nations then will see your integrity,
all the kings your glory,
and you will be called by a new name,
one which the mouth of the Lord will confer.
You are to be crowned of splendour in the hand of the Lord,
a princely diadem in the hand of your God;
no longer are you to be named 'Forsaken',
nor your land 'abandoned',
but you shall be called 'My delight'
and your land 'The Wedded';
for the Lord takes delight in you
and your land will have its wedding.
Like a young man marrying a virgin,
so will the one who built you, wed you,
and as the bridegroom rejoices in his bride,
so will your God rejoice in you".
* My dearest Lord, thank you for You take delight in me, for I'm your delight. For the one who built me, will wed me and as the bridgroom rejoices in his bride, so my dearest Lord rejoices in me. For no longer am I to be named 'Forsaken', nor my land 'abandoned', but I shall be called my dearest Lord's delight and my land the wedded.
* Sabiduría 11, 24:
"Amas a todos los seres
y no aborreces nada de lo que hiciste;
pues, si algo odiases, no lo habrías creado"
* Wisdom 11, 24:
"You love all your creation
and you hate nothing that You created;
for, if you did, you would not have created it".
* About having a big meal with Mxxx and Pxxx. The whole family was joined, including my grandma. I thought she would not manage to come but she was good enough to come.
* About my parents and my aunt being able to find someone to spend the evenings with my grandmother. She cannot be alone and my aunt needs a rest. My father told me about how all the process of finding this person was providential.
* Choosing and buying with my brother the television of their wedding gift (two years later ...). We found a good deal in a well-known department store and we were able to have even a free insurance. I just wanted to have no problem if something could go wrong after buying it. My brother was very happy about this.
Thu 20070125
Dios de consuelo,
tú te haces cargo de nuestras cargas,
de tal modo que podamos avanzar,
en todo momento
de la inquietud hacia la confianza,
de la sombra a la claridad.
Hermano Roger de Taizé
God of consolation,
You take our loads,
so that we can move on,
at any time
from anxiety to confidence,
from shadow to clarity.
Brother Roger of Taizé
Mon 20070129
* About simple little things. Thank you for them. Going to Humanes with my brother and my father to take some furniture. Willing to get back to have lunch in Madrid. My brothers' wife prepared an improvised meal for us all when we were back. Thank you for that meal and for the care that Pxxx put in it. Spending some time with the little Mxxx (my niece). Enjoying some time with my niece. My father was also there. My mother came with a car to bring us home as we had brought things we could not carry. My brother showed me the TV set that I gave them as a wedding present.
* About the comment of Mxxx in the mass on Saturday Asking for courage. He had put all the candles very squaredly ordered. The priest asked me to spread them out in a more random way so that they didn't show so "ordered". About the comment of Mxxx saying that he had put the candles very well ordered and how they were all random. This must mean something to me, he said. Of all the meaning of somebody breaking all the order in his life. Willing to preserve his order, his way of life but understanding how that order did not allow him
to grow and be himself. He just came to the mass up to the moment in which he shared this with us (he had to leave)
Wed 20070131
¿Qué tengo yo, que mi amistad procuras?
¿Qué interés se te sigue, Jesús mío,
que a mi puerta, cubierto de rocío,
pasas las noches de invierno oscuras?
¡Oh, cuánto fueron mis entrañas duras,
pues no te abrí! ¡Qué extraño desvarío,
si de mi ingratitud el hielo frío
secó las llagas de tus plantas puras!
¡Cuántas veces el ángel me decía:
«Alma, asómate ahora a la ventana,
verás con cuánto amor llamar porfía»!
¡Y cuántas, hermosura soberana,
«Mañana le abriremos», respondía,
para lo mismo responder mañana!
(Rafael y Lope de Vega)
* My grandmother has been in the hospital from New Years' Eve up to today. She's 94. The doctors managed to find out what was wrong with her and she seems to be fine now.
* My father, my aunt and my mother have been taking care of her all these days. The rest of the family has also visited her almost everyday to allow especially my aunt to take a rest.
* My brother and I went to visit her one day after going shopping for Christmas gifts. I think we dropped out our best present at the end of the day when we went to the hospital.
* The following day I went to buy a present to my grandma. I invited my mother to come over with me but she had just spent the whole morning with my grandma and was exausted and worried (my grandma had not spent a good morning). I went on my own not very confident of finding anything. However, I found a beautiful and warm blouse with little flowers for daily use at home.
* I asked my aunt to bring her laptop to the hospital to try a television board. In the evening I brought a long television cable that I had at home and were able to watch TV at the hospital. My grandma could see and hear as the laptop was in front of her. She enjoyed very much the Kings parade the following day. My aunt used a little light that could be connected to the computer (my brother gave it to her last year) to read at night as my grandma didn't sleep very well. She is downloading books from the internet and enjoys a lot reading them from the computer screen.
* I hosted the meal on Kings' day. I prepared fried peppers and a paella. My mother came over a few hours before lunchtime and we spent a very nice time cooking together. The meal was very good. Everyone enjoyed it. My father was with my grandma in the hospital. After the meal we went to visit them and bring their gifts. We brought with us my brothers' six-month-old daughter: the little Mxxx.
* About choosing the best gifts. We gave the blouse to my grandma and she liked it very much. However, the best gift that evening was our presence and specially the presence of the little Mxxx. Contemplating the joy of my grandma playing with the smiling Mxxx among all of us.
* Thank you for the conversation with Fxxx yesterday. He is a good friend that I don't see very often. It was good to update each other. I told him about my trials to reach a relationship. He gave me the perspective of the impartial outsider not having any need himself on that issue. It was very helpful.
* I sent Christmas greetings to a deacon I met with Mxxx last summer. I also enclosed my notes about my encountering experience with the Lord through the acceptance and integration of my sexual orientation. He anwered me back very warmly thanking the greetings and the notes.
* About forwarding this mail to Mxxx. He is very good friends with this deacon but not out to him yet. I guess my presence connects my being gay with Mxxx being gay. Just a little trial to encourage him to come out. I guess Mxxx follows his own pace as we all do. Let me be sympathetic with him as Fxxx suggested. A few days later Mxxx answered this mail thanking me for sharing this deacons' mail with him.
* Continuing the writing of my technical paper. Thinking of new ideas which come over as long as I write.
* Last Sunday I went to the parish I usually go to mass. There was a woman animating the liturgy that I had not seen before. She approached me at the end of the mass asking for any kind of help as new people were necessary to animate the parish. I told her that I had been working in a parish for over 10 years and I could understand very well what she was doing and why. I told her that I already belonged to another group and I didn't have time. She asked me about this group. I told her that I was gay and that this group was probably one out of the only two christian gay groups in Madrid. I told her that I my place was there. She agreed and thanked very much the conversation we had just had.
* My dearest Lord, these are intense times, lots of happenings. My heart is somehow going up and down but certainly alive. I thank You for helping me out putting all these happenings and feelings together and realizing of Your presence through them. The foundation of my life is a collection of daily simple little happenings. Thank you for they show me who You are. I like the way You are. Thank You for being the way You are.
Sun 20070114
* Is 62,1-5:
"About Zion I will not be silent,
about Jerusalem I will not grow weary,
until her integrity shines out like the dawn
and her salvation flames like a torch.
The nations then will see your integrity,
all the kings your glory,
and you will be called by a new name,
one which the mouth of the Lord will confer.
You are to be crowned of splendour in the hand of the Lord,
a princely diadem in the hand of your God;
no longer are you to be named 'Forsaken',
nor your land 'abandoned',
but you shall be called 'My delight'
and your land 'The Wedded';
for the Lord takes delight in you
and your land will have its wedding.
Like a young man marrying a virgin,
so will the one who built you, wed you,
and as the bridegroom rejoices in his bride,
so will your God rejoice in you".
* My dearest Lord, thank you for You take delight in me, for I'm your delight. For the one who built me, will wed me and as the bridgroom rejoices in his bride, so my dearest Lord rejoices in me. For no longer am I to be named 'Forsaken', nor my land 'abandoned', but I shall be called my dearest Lord's delight and my land the wedded.
* Sabiduría 11, 24:
"Amas a todos los seres
y no aborreces nada de lo que hiciste;
pues, si algo odiases, no lo habrías creado"
* Wisdom 11, 24:
"You love all your creation
and you hate nothing that You created;
for, if you did, you would not have created it".
* About having a big meal with Mxxx and Pxxx. The whole family was joined, including my grandma. I thought she would not manage to come but she was good enough to come.
* About my parents and my aunt being able to find someone to spend the evenings with my grandmother. She cannot be alone and my aunt needs a rest. My father told me about how all the process of finding this person was providential.
* Choosing and buying with my brother the television of their wedding gift (two years later ...). We found a good deal in a well-known department store and we were able to have even a free insurance. I just wanted to have no problem if something could go wrong after buying it. My brother was very happy about this.
Thu 20070125
Dios de consuelo,
tú te haces cargo de nuestras cargas,
de tal modo que podamos avanzar,
en todo momento
de la inquietud hacia la confianza,
de la sombra a la claridad.
Hermano Roger de Taizé
God of consolation,
You take our loads,
so that we can move on,
at any time
from anxiety to confidence,
from shadow to clarity.
Brother Roger of Taizé
Mon 20070129
* About simple little things. Thank you for them. Going to Humanes with my brother and my father to take some furniture. Willing to get back to have lunch in Madrid. My brothers' wife prepared an improvised meal for us all when we were back. Thank you for that meal and for the care that Pxxx put in it. Spending some time with the little Mxxx (my niece). Enjoying some time with my niece. My father was also there. My mother came with a car to bring us home as we had brought things we could not carry. My brother showed me the TV set that I gave them as a wedding present.
* About the comment of Mxxx in the mass on Saturday Asking for courage. He had put all the candles very squaredly ordered. The priest asked me to spread them out in a more random way so that they didn't show so "ordered". About the comment of Mxxx saying that he had put the candles very well ordered and how they were all random. This must mean something to me, he said. Of all the meaning of somebody breaking all the order in his life. Willing to preserve his order, his way of life but understanding how that order did not allow him
to grow and be himself. He just came to the mass up to the moment in which he shared this with us (he had to leave)
Wed 20070131
¿Qué tengo yo, que mi amistad procuras?
¿Qué interés se te sigue, Jesús mío,
que a mi puerta, cubierto de rocío,
pasas las noches de invierno oscuras?
¡Oh, cuánto fueron mis entrañas duras,
pues no te abrí! ¡Qué extraño desvarío,
si de mi ingratitud el hielo frío
secó las llagas de tus plantas puras!
¡Cuántas veces el ángel me decía:
«Alma, asómate ahora a la ventana,
verás con cuánto amor llamar porfía»!
¡Y cuántas, hermosura soberana,
«Mañana le abriremos», respondía,
para lo mismo responder mañana!
(Rafael y Lope de Vega)
posted by Loyola at 3:24 AM
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